Toddler Tantrums

Having trouble dealing with your toddler's tantrums, especially in public areas? Worry no more. What you need to do is understand the reason behind why toddlers, some preschoolers and sometimes even a little older kids can throw tantrums from time to time. Some parents and care-givers lose their cool and some choose to take "flight" from the scene. However, this is not the solution. You must put a little effort in understanding why it happens in the first place (which is very normal and nothing to worry about, of course as it happens to most kids). If we acknowledge the reasons we will be more prepared and be able to react in a more appropriate way. Here are a few major reasons why babies, toddlers and preschoolers may throw tantrums and solutions and apt situation handling methods suggested:
1. Young children have a short attention span. They quickly get bored when there is little for them to do. For example sitting and doing nothing in the car during a long drive and getting bored as parents or care-givers are shopping. SOLUTION: A simple way is to keep shopping trips as short as possible. Keep them busy by asking them to carry something for you even if it is just an apple. Busy toddlers are less likely to get frustrated and throw a fit of anger. By asking for their help (as little as it may be) we are showing them that they are doing a great job and we as adults trust them. A little boost the little one's self-respect does a lot! Never under estimate its importance.

2. Children get tired easily and quickly even by mere excitement or continuous play. They need short breaks or rest periods during which they should be encouraged to just sit and relax (which is very hard to achieve though) or do some lighter activity like watching a kids TV show or eat a snack. SOLUTION: Make sure that the kids are well-rested, well-fed and not cranky when you decide to embark on a long trip and decide to take them along. Excitement is enough to get the hormone rush in them and make them feel tired soon. Stay prepared take along snacks or their favorite soft toy. Snacks help pacify hunger if they get hungry on the way, in the shopping mall or the park etc. Snacks do not necessarily have to be the usual junk food it can something healthy like a banana, some grapes or a small juice packet or a home made sandwich.

3. Communication problems. Since toddlers still have not completely mastered the art of proper communication they may feel struggling to get their message across to their parents or care-givers, especially when the parents or care-givers seem to be busy elsewhere like driving or shopping etc. The frustration of not being able to communicate as effectively as they might want to can trigger a tantrum. SOLUTION: Don't wait for your toddler to tell you what they want. Keep enquiring regularly. Keep and eye on signs of frustration and resolve issues before a tantrum begins. The quicker you act the better.

4. Young children expect to be the centre of their parent's attention at all times. They can be very possessive even at a young age. A mere feeling of being neglected for something else or someone else can make them feel ignored, get jealous and they would react by throwing a tantrum. SOLUTION: Keep talking to kids, asking questions, communicating, and showing them that they are a part of the trip (shopping etc and are not being neglected). When adults like parents and guardians to talk to their children, the kids' self esteem gets a boost and they feel trusted and feel they are an important part of the family. They may be very young but we don't really know how secure and happy they feel when given due importance. Listening is also highly significant. It shows that they have a "say" too. Freedom of speech and being allowed to voice own opinion arises in humans from a very early age. If we snub the toddler or preschooler they may grow up to be timid or rebellious...two extremes we want them to avoid at all costs.

Other Useful methods of Preventing and Managing Toddler Tantrums:

• Be prepared: Take along their favorite toy, sweets they like etc to distract them as soon as the tantrum starts. Be sure of what they like and use it as a distraction and a pacifier.

• Take note of the situations, circumstances or other things which trigger tantrums commonly. Avoid such actions if possible or be fully prepared. If you know what causes your child to throw a fit of rage you will be mentally prepared and more in control.

• Don't give in to unreasonable demands. Give them something else instead. Tell them clearly what is wrong and unacceptable and what is not once they have calmed down.

• Stay calm yourself: Losing control, yelling or just sulking worsens a situation. The child might feel two things: number one that he is in control and getting what he wants or number two: be totally scared of angry adults or of similar situations or similar surroundings. This may cause behavioral problems in the future if left un-noticed or ignored completely. So be careful of your own reaction too.

Every child is different. As a parent and care-giver we should pay close attention their own particular behavior and needs, their likes and dislikes and most of all their own unique personality. They are still young and a little effort from our side will help them manage their behavior now and in the future as they grow up. As a last word, during tantrums the best trick is to stay calm, act according to situation, distract the child quickly and resolve the issue as soon as possible.

Does Your Baby "Sleep like a Baby"? Here are a few tips to help your infant and toddler get into bed and sleep better.

Babies and toddlers are energetic and inquisitive little angels who just don’t seem to get tired of playing and exploring. Playing and exploring is very good for their growth and development, however, a good night’s sleep is equally important. In fact, according to many pediatric theories, babies (and even older kids) grow while they are asleep. Sleeping provides their bodies’ with the much needed rest, time for the body to recover from everyday stress and grow.
Nonetheless, putting our baby to bed may not be the easiest thing to do. We have heard of blessed parents who claim their babies go to sleep as soon as they lie in their beds. But mums and dads walking while holding their children, rocking them and singing to them in an attempt to get them to sleep is a more common sight. Soon after I had my first child, I began to doubt the truth of the phrase: “sleeping like a baby” and certainly I wasn’t the only one having trouble getting my baby to sleep. I have seen numerous parents trying frantically to calm an irritable baby in the middle of the night, when they themselves are too tired to stay awake. At other times, toddlers just don’t want to turn the TV off and go to bed.

Knowing the importance of sleep and rest, parents try almost everything in their power to help their child get a good night’s sleep. However, in the process of doing so they do, occasionally and obviously, lose patience and their nerves. I have even seen little toddlers driving their tired mums to tears. After a hard day, a naughty, uncompromising and not-ready-to sleep toddler (or baby) is the last thing we would want! So what to do?

In order, to solve a problem, we must first try to find the reasons behind it and same is true for this situation. Babies and toddlers may not want to go to sleep for the following possible reasons (under normal healthy circumstances):

1. They have been over-stimulated. Going to sleep is difficult in an over-excited state

2. They are too tired and have trouble falling asleep

3. They may be hungry!

4. They may not be as comfortable in their bed/cot/cradle as we might expect them to be.

5. They don’t want to part with their mum and dad and sleep alone.

Over the years through my own experience, the experiences of friends and family members, and advice of the “old wives” I have found the following “solutions” to work best.

1) Solutions to prevent over-stimulation (and what to do if the baby is already too excited!): Over-stimulation can cause babies to stay awake for longer and make it difficult to go to sleep. It is only too obvious. If the baby is happily employed in an exciting game he/she is really interested in, it would seem too boring to leave it so soon and go to sleep. Asking them to leave what they are doing would make them a little rebellious and disturbed (even if they are but only young babies).

a) A Nice, Warm BATH: Bathing helps calm and relax the baby. A relaxed baby will go to sleep quicker and sleep better.

b) Avoid playing exciting games with the baby/toddler few hours before bed time.

c) Avoid loud music/TV which can cause over-stimulation.

d) Turn off the flashy lights and use dim lights half and hour or so before bed time. Creating an atmosphere that the whole family is getting ready to go to bed will convince the baby to get ready for bed as well.

2) When the baby is too tired:

a) Some babies cannot sleep when they are too tired. It’s just like some adults cannot sleep when they are too stressed out. To prevent such a situation, allow small nap times during the day. However, try to keep the nap time short other wise a well-rested baby may not want to go to sleep.

b) Massage: A nice massage can help relieve the stress and relax the baby. However, giving a good massage to baby needs a little bit of skill and a lot of care. Parents or care givers should be very careful when massaging babies’ because they have very delicate bodies and malleable bones.

c) Don’t allow them to wear themselves out! Babies who have learnt to crawl and toddlers who have just taken their few steps can be too tempted to practice their new learnt skills all the time and unintentionally get very tired. Remember they are only babies, they cannot walk all the way to the grocer’s and back like their mum and dad (even if they wanted to) and then keep running around long after that without getting tired!

Parents and care givers need to take care of this on their own. Babies and toddlers may never want to sit and relax but try engaging them in slower activities so they may sit for a while and relax a bit like ask them to play with dough or have a look at the fish in the aquarium, or sit and watch a nice baby show on TV/ DVD. Very tired little legs may need a massage at night is they don’t stop skipping around all day!

3) It is very obvious that hunger can cause sleeplessness. Parents feed children regularly through out the day so how can they be hungry? Babies tend to eat or feed at regular intervals. So how to make sure babies are not hungry just before bed:

a) Meal times should not be too far from bed time (like a four or five hour gap between them can make a child feel hungry). If you feel its appropriate give them a short healthy snack an hour or so before bed.

b) However, don’t be tempted to put a baby to bed with a milk bottle. It can cause discomfort as the baby may need to burp even when asleep and may not be able to do so without assistance and hence may cause him/her to wake up.

4) Make sure they are completely comfortable:

a) The mattress should be flat but not to hard or too soft.

b) Blanket must not cover their head or face or especially nose. The baby must not be having any difficulty in breathing. You might be surprised but sometimes a much wrapped baby may start feeling claustrophobic. Since he/she cannot tell verbally, he/she will keep crying or remain awake and fussy.

c) Keep the room temperature comfortable, neither too warm nor too cool. If we are feeling alright then a light blanket over the baby would be just fine. Over wrapping and over warming even in cold weather can make them uncomfortable and irritable.

5) Try Attachment Parenting: Some babies just don’t want to part from their mums even at night.

a) Allow the baby to cuddle with you if possible. Sleep sharing suits many households and works for many parents since it has numerous other benefits for both parents and babies.

b) Carry the baby in a sling and trying putting back in bed when he/she is fast asleep. This really worked for a friend of mine.

Some other useful tips:

If the above methods are not working, here are a few more tips:

 Rock the baby: Slight rhythmic motion at a comfortable pace calms the baby and helps them go to sleep.

o Try sitting in a rocking chair with the baby in your arms. Rock gently; the baby will be asleep in no time!

o Try putting the baby to bed in a rocking cot/cradle

o Does your baby fall asleep when you go out with her in the pram? Try it inside the house, if it’s too late to go out (at night it is of course too late for a walk). Make the baby comfy in a pram and move it to and fro gently (not too fast), the right pace will do the trick.

 Soothing music, like the one in a child’s mobile can soothe and relax a baby and help falling asleep.

 Don’t be hasty with putting a crying baby to bed. Take a deep breath, calm down and concentrate on calming the child first. A cranky baby can take much longer to go to bed.

 Last resorts:

o Take the baby for a drive. But remember it is a last resort. If you make it a habit that you take the baby out for a drive every night he/she is cranky, he/she will want to sleep only when he/she is taken for a drive. So be careful. Use this resort only when nothing else works.

o Use a soother or pacifier to soothe the baby. As soon as they are relaxed, try taking the soothers away. Never put a baby to sleep with soother in the mouth and I repeat Never! It can cause breathing difficulty, other associated problems and even SIDS! Be very careful.

Babies are our little angels and we do everything in our power to keep them comfortable. The above was a little advice based on personally tried and tested tips to help babies sleep better so that you can too! :)

Clipart photos courtesy of Webweavers FREE clipart.

Parenthood and Modern day Parenting Challenges

In today's world, when in many families both parents work and sometimes even juggle between two or more jobs, it seems that bringing up children, spending quality time with them and even see them grow through different phases of their lives is becoming a little difficult. However, it may not be as difficult as some parents or parents-to-be might anticipate it to be. No matter how challenging parenthood might appear to be at times, we all would agree that very few individuals in our lives give us the sense of belonging, the sense of being loved and looked up to and among those individuals are our very own flesh and blood; our children!

They give us the feeling no body else can ever give. Children look upto us their care-givers, protectors, providers and role models. They depend on us in every possible way and its near to impossible to resist their "oh so cute" look when they look up to us after doing something naughty and cheeky. We love them, care for them, provide for them and would do almost anything to protect them from harm and mis-happenings. We see a part of ourselves in our children. They are gifts of nature solely for us (their parents) and no one (except nature itself) can take this feeling away from us.

The journey of parenthood is, however, not as smooth and free of problems as we would like it to be. The everyday hassles and challenges keep popping up from time to time. In modern times it might appear to be a little more difficult when we all are trying to keep up with the fast pace of the world. We might struggle with our time, with getting organized, putting the baby to sleep and be patient with the family and friends when they do not agree with our parenting strategies.

It is normal for difficulties to appear in any normal household. Sometimes the baby does not want to eat, he/she starts throwing tantrums in the middle of a shopping trip or in the car when we are on our way home, the toddler is not ready to sleep and is persistent to watch TV even in the middle of the night when we have to get up early for the job, the pre-schooler has been bullied at the childcare centre or an outdoor trip or an invitation to a party had to be cancelled because the baby unexpectedly has an upset stomach.

Sometimes we manage to make it through these everyday challenges without loosing our nerves but in some situations we just cannot take it anymore or just simply panic due to the over-whelming nature of the situation like when you and your husband both forgot to pick up your toddler from the day-care centre. You might only be 15 to 20 minutes late but the situation may cause you to panic especially when its difficult to leave the office or job or the boss has been annoyed for some reason or you were just having a bad day.

Similarly, we can loose our nerves if we have been trying to put the baby to sleep but all she can do is cry or fuss about and our partner is getting cranky too. At other times, we can have difficulty in convincing our family members and even our partner that our parenting ways are correct. We sometimes need to open up books and encyclopaedias to convince them. Like, wanting to breast feeding our infant till the age of two or trying to explain that attachment parenting is good for the infant and the whole family. At such times we wish we could communicate with someone who would empathize with us for a change.

At other times, we wish that other parents who have experienced such circumstances and have come out successfully, would share their suggestions and opinions with others and you could read their advice, their tips and tricks and use them if you wanted to in your own lives. "Parenting Advice" aims to provide advice on different challenging aspects of parenthood, on how to put that ever-energetic toddler to bed, how to get your baby to eat something, how to stop or prevent your baby from wailing on every shopping trip and how to handle those bullies who have made your child's life difficult at a creche or school.

In addition to these everyday challenges, some parents are confronted with even bigger problems when their child or children have additional physical or mental difficulties. These may be minor learning/developmental delays or behaviour problems or more serious physical or mental challenges like Down's Syndrome, physical problems, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder etc. Parents in such situations are under additional stress and tension. They can receive help from specialized institutions and most importantly considerate family and friends.

Parenting Advice will also try to help parents by providing assistance in making sensible choices with regards to choosing the right things for themselves and their children. Parenting Advice will attempt to gather useful resources (including websites, books, articles products information etc.) for parents and all other readers. It will help you save time and energy.

At "Parenting Advice" you can read about all such topics and many more and comment on them that whether you benefited from them or make suggestions on how to improve them. Your suggestions, comments and advice for improvements are all welcome. Hope you enjoy and benefit from your experience at "Parenting Advice".