Having trouble dealing with your toddler's tantrums, especially in public areas? Worry no more. What you need to do is understand the reason behind why toddlers, some preschoolers and sometimes even a little older kids can throw tantrums from time to time. Some parents and care-givers lose their cool and some choose to take "flight" from the scene. However, this is not the solution. You must put a little effort in understanding why it happens in the first place (which is very normal and nothing to worry about, of course as it happens to most kids). If we acknowledge the reasons we will be more prepared and be able to react in a more appropriate way. Here are a few major reasons why babies, toddlers and preschoolers may throw tantrums and solutions and apt situation handling methods suggested:
1. Young children have a short attention span. They quickly get bored when there is little for them to do. For example sitting and doing nothing in the car during a long drive and getting bored as parents or care-givers are shopping. SOLUTION: A simple way is to keep shopping trips as short as possible. Keep them busy by asking them to carry something for you even if it is just an apple. Busy toddlers are less likely to get frustrated and throw a fit of anger. By asking for their help (as little as it may be) we are showing them that they are doing a great job and we as adults trust them. A little boost the little one's self-respect does a lot! Never under estimate its importance.
2. Children get tired easily and quickly even by mere excitement or continuous play. They need short breaks or rest periods during which they should be encouraged to just sit and relax (which is very hard to achieve though) or do some lighter activity like watching a kids TV show or eat a snack. SOLUTION: Make sure that the kids are well-rested, well-fed and not cranky when you decide to embark on a long trip and decide to take them along. Excitement is enough to get the hormone rush in them and make them feel tired soon. Stay prepared take along snacks or their favorite soft toy. Snacks help pacify hunger if they get hungry on the way, in the shopping mall or the park etc. Snacks do not necessarily have to be the usual junk food it can something healthy like a banana, some grapes or a small juice packet or a home made sandwich.
3. Communication problems. Since toddlers still have not completely mastered the art of proper communication they may feel struggling to get their message across to their parents or care-givers, especially when the parents or care-givers seem to be busy elsewhere like driving or shopping etc. The frustration of not being able to communicate as effectively as they might want to can trigger a tantrum. SOLUTION: Don't wait for your toddler to tell you what they want. Keep enquiring regularly. Keep and eye on signs of frustration and resolve issues before a tantrum begins. The quicker you act the better.
4. Young children expect to be the centre of their parent's attention at all times. They can be very possessive even at a young age. A mere feeling of being neglected for something else or someone else can make them feel ignored, get jealous and they would react by throwing a tantrum. SOLUTION: Keep talking to kids, asking questions, communicating, and showing them that they are a part of the trip (shopping etc and are not being neglected). When adults like parents and guardians to talk to their children, the kids' self esteem gets a boost and they feel trusted and feel they are an important part of the family. They may be very young but we don't really know how secure and happy they feel when given due importance. Listening is also highly significant. It shows that they have a "say" too. Freedom of speech and being allowed to voice own opinion arises in humans from a very early age. If we snub the toddler or preschooler they may grow up to be timid or rebellious...two extremes we want them to avoid at all costs.
Other Useful methods of Preventing and Managing Toddler Tantrums:
• Be prepared: Take along their favorite toy, sweets they like etc to distract them as soon as the tantrum starts. Be sure of what they like and use it as a distraction and a pacifier.
• Take note of the situations, circumstances or other things which trigger tantrums commonly. Avoid such actions if possible or be fully prepared. If you know what causes your child to throw a fit of rage you will be mentally prepared and more in control.
• Don't give in to unreasonable demands. Give them something else instead. Tell them clearly what is wrong and unacceptable and what is not once they have calmed down.
• Stay calm yourself: Losing control, yelling or just sulking worsens a situation. The child might feel two things: number one that he is in control and getting what he wants or number two: be totally scared of angry adults or of similar situations or similar surroundings. This may cause behavioral problems in the future if left un-noticed or ignored completely. So be careful of your own reaction too.
Every child is different. As a parent and care-giver we should pay close attention their own particular behavior and needs, their likes and dislikes and most of all their own unique personality. They are still young and a little effort from our side will help them manage their behavior now and in the future as they grow up. As a last word, during tantrums the best trick is to stay calm, act according to situation, distract the child quickly and resolve the issue as soon as possible.
